[JOKE] The wife is not speaking to me

The wife is not speaking to me

Ouça o áudio aqui (Here)

One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.

"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.

"My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days."

The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender.

"Yeah, except today is the last night."

Vocabulary Help

• ask - perguntar
• bartender - atendente do bar
• couple - dois
• fight - briga
• for a while - por algum tempo
• guy - cara
• lat night - última noite
• night - noite
• talk - conversar
• think (think, thought, thought) - pensar
• what's the matter? - qual o problema?
• whole - inteiro
• wife - esposa
• worry - preocupar

Enviado por: Rubens Queiroz de Almeida

“Everyone loves jokes. They can be an invaluable source of entertainment and an excellent vehicle for presenting language in context and promoting genuine communication while having a laugh. As follows, we describe some useful techniques for exploiting jokes in class. Next, a number of TEFL-appropriate jokes are included and sorted by level.”

How to use jokes in the ESL or ELT Classroom: (Link here)

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Is something important missing? Report an error or suggest an improvement. Please, I strive for accuracy and fairness. If you see something that doesn't look right, contact me! 

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THE 20 HABITS OF EVENTUAL MILLIONAIRES

NUMBER 1 - Say “NO”

When you say “NO”, you have more time to read, learn, sleep, ask questions, contact friends, love life. Say “NO” more.

PORTAL DA LÍNGUA INGLESA has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-partly internet websites referred to in this post, and does not guarantee that any context on such websites are, or will remain, accurate or appropriate. 

In some instances, I have been unable to trace the owners of the pictures used here; therefore, I would appreciate any information that would enable me to do so. Thank you very much. 

Is something important missing? Report an error or suggest an improvement. Please, I strive for accuracy and fairness. If you see something that doesn't look right, contact me! 

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[WARMER] “IF AT FIRST YOU DO NOT SUCCEED…” WHAT IS SUCCESS FOR YOU?

A very simple icebreaker (or warmer). It may also be used as a pocket activity.

First, show your students some quotes about success (or failure) and ask them to think about what the ones who said each quote meant by it.

“I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” ― Herbert Bayard Swope

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.” ― Albert Einstein

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” ― Bette Midler

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” ― Winston S. Churchill

“Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.”― Steve Maraboli

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ― Oliver Goldsmith

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

“Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.” ― Coco Chanel

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” ― Robert F. Kennedy

After that, start a discussion about 'what success is' based on their own opinions, beliefs, or ideas.

Then ask them to talk about the stories of success they may know (or ever heard about). 


Can you think of anyone you know or a famous person who has been successful in very difficult circumstances? 

It will depend on their language level, but you may also ask them to write down their own quotes about success and then ask them to show their quotes to the class and talk about their own.

I hope you have enjoyed this one! See you around!

Cheers!

PORTAL DA LÍNGUA INGLESA has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-partly internet websites referred to in this post, and does not guarantee that any context on such websites are, or will remain, accurate or appropriate. 

In some instances, I have been unable to trace the owners of the pictures used here; therefore, I would appreciate any information that would enable me to do so. Thank you very much. 

Is something important missing? Report an error or suggest an improvement. Please, I strive for accuracy and fairness. If you see something that doesn't look right, contact me! 

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[JOKE] How much will this cost me?

How much will this cost me? (clique aqui para ouvir o áudio)

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?

Dentist: $100.00.

Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?

Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.

Vocabulary Help

• pull - arrancar
• slowly - lentamente
• tooth - dente

PORTAL DA LÍNGUA INGLESA has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-partly internet websites referred to in this post, and does not guarantee that any context on such websites are, or will remain, accurate or appropriate. 

In some instances, I have been unable to trace the owners of the pictures used here; therefore, I would appreciate any information that would enable me to do so. Thank you very much. 

Is something important missing? Report an error or suggest an improvement. Please, I strive for accuracy and fairness. If you see something that doesn't look right, contact me! 

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[JOKE] Must help the wife

Must help the wife

 

Click aqui para ouvir o áudio (ÁUDIO AQUI)

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"

Vocabulary Help

• attic - sotão
• boss - chefe
• count on you - contar com você
• haul - puxar, arrastar
• heavy - pesado
• house cleaning - limpeza da casa
• need - precisar
• reply - responder
• see (see, saw, seen) - ver
• short-handed - falta de gente
• stuff - coisas
• wife - esposa

Enviado por: Rubens Queiroz de Almeida

“Everyone loves jokes. They can be an invaluable source of entertainment and an excellent vehicle for presenting language in context and promoting genuine communication while having a laugh. As follows, we describe some useful techniques for exploiting jokes in class. Next, a number of TEFL-appropriate jokes are included and sorted by level.”

How to use jokes in the ESL or ELT Classroom: (Link here)

PORTAL DA LÍNGUA INGLESA has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-partly internet websites referred to in this post, and does not guarantee that any context on such websites are, or will remain, accurate or appropriate. 

In some instances, I have been unable to trace the owners of the pictures used here; therefore, I would appreciate any information that would enable me to do so. Thank you very much. 

Is something important missing? Report an error or suggest an improvement. Please, I strive for accuracy and fairness. If you see something that doesn't look right, contact me! 

Did you spot a typo?

Do you have any tips or examples to improve this page?

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The clock is ticking...

I was watching a football (soccer) match today and the commentator said that ‘the clock was ticking down’.

Interestingly, I was not upset about the match, but I instantly became in love with the idea of writing a post today. The expression I’d like to talk about today? That’s right: ‘the clock was ticking’.

According to thefreedictionary (here), we use ‘the clock is ticking’ when “the time (for something to be done) is passing quickly.”  And that was exactly what was happening in the match today - one of the teams needed to score at least one goal, but they failed.

We may also use it for “saying that someone must do something quickly because there will soon be no more time left.” (here) or, in more specific form, to talk about someone’s biological clock. That is, when one’s biological clock is ticking, it means that, for instance, that “a woman may soon be too old to bear a child, as in her biological clock is ticking-she just turned forty.”

There is another interesting expression that is used to a girl that is hot, but is too young for someone to, say, make a move. It’s TICKING CLOCK. Check it out:

A: Dude check out the ticking clock – she’s pretty hot!

B: All in good time, my friend, all in good time.

That’s all for today, folks! I do hope you have benefit from this entry. Have a nice weekend and a perfect week!

THE VERY BEST LIST OF DICTIONARIES FOR ENGLISH LANGUAGE LEARNERS (AND SPEAKERS) [Read more here]

Sources:

Clock is ticking, the. (n.d.) The American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms by Christine Ammer. (2003, 1997). Retrieved October 29 2016 from http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/clock+is+ticking%2c+the

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ticking%20clock

PORTAL DA LÍNGUA INGLESA has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-partly internet websites referred to in this post, and does not guarantee that any context on such websites are, or will remain, accurate or appropriate. 

In some instances, I have been unable to trace the owners of the pictures used here; therefore, I would appreciate any information that would enable me to do so. Thank you very much. 

Is something important missing? Report an error or suggest an improvement. Please, I strive for accuracy and fairness. If you see something that doesn't look right, contact me! 

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ADOPTING A CHILD (EFL/ESL Speaking Activity)

The activity I would like to suggest today is called ADOPTING A CHILD. It should be used with B2, C1, or C2 (intermediate, upper-intermediate, or advanced) students.

First, tell your students the following story:

A truck driver was in a gas station and was just about to get into his truck when he heard a baby boy screaming right in front of his wheel. He picked the baby up and took him to the authorities.

Now the baby is up for adoption and the authorities are looking for the ideal parents.

After the students reading moment, ask them to try to draw the situation (ask them to imagine and then draw the situation).

After that, compare their drawings and give them to read, analyze and complete the checklist below.

ADOPTING A CHILD

CRITERIA

The ideal should:

[     ] be under 30 years old

[     ] be of the same racial group as the child

[     ] be of the same religious group as each other

[     ] be a married couple

[     ] be a heterosexual couple

[     ] both have jobs

[     ] have other children in the family

[     ] not be living in poverty  

[     ] have some professional experience of dealing with children, i.e. as teachers or nurses  

Ask them to mark each item of the list or criteria on a scale of 1 (very important) to 5 (not important at all). Then, divide them into groups of 3 (or more) and ask them discuss each point. In groups, students should discuss each item, using the agreeing and disagreeing sentences below:

AGREEING

I completely agree with you.

I agree with your point of view.

I think you’re right.

By and large, I would accept what you just said (formal)

Exactly, I feel the same way.

I agree up to a point, but…

DISAGREEING

I don’t agree with you at all.

No way could I agree to that (informal)

I respect your opinion, however… (student’s’ ideas)

I am not totally convinced by what you said.

I really must take issue with you here (formal)

We’ll have to agree to agree to disagree then.

You as a teacher should guide the students during the whole activity. Nonetheless, be careful about your opinions and make sure that students understand that the activity is not a competition (there no right or wrong answer).

This activity is based on Jane G. Coury’s Speaking Activities Book.

PORTAL DA LÍNGUA INGLESA has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-partly internet websites referred to in this post, and does not guarantee that any context on such websites are, or will remain, accurate or appropriate. 

In some instances, I have been unable to trace the owners of the pictures used here; therefore, I would appreciate any information that would enable me to do so. Thank you very much. 

Is something important missing? Report an error or suggest an improvement. Please, I strive for accuracy and fairness. If you see something that doesn't look right, contact me! 

Your feedback is welcome. Please direct comments and questions to me at bruno_coriolano@hotmail.com

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