As you study for exams, remember it is not the
quantity it is the quantity. And remember there is
no substitute for pure unadulterated bull
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma
School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr.
Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?"
on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his
Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or
endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then
they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a
mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls
leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will
not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls
entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in
hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell
to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
constant. Two options exist:
1.
If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
increase until all hell breaks loose.
2.
If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me
by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in
hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still
have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be
true...Thus, hell is exothermic."
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
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